Thursday, July 12, 2007

Refuge

Sometimes, when life is crazy, I just want to crawl under a rock somewhere so I can just get away from it all. The weight of life has been particularly heavy lately with all the changes and uncertainty surrounding me. It is times like these when God reveals himself to me in small ways.

Yesterday, I came home from church and pulled into the driveway. My Grandma was out front, weeding the yard. I was pretty worn out from the day and my stress and I asked my Grandma how she is doing and she said with a smile "You aren't supposed to ask me that. You are supposed to say 'Good to see you'."

You see, my Grandpa has advanced Alzheimer’s disease and struggles to remember his name sometimes. It is hard for me to see him in that state knowing how he use to be. My Grandparents live next door and it is difficult to drop in and say "hi" when you know you have to introduce yourself to him every time. I've stopped introducing myself, and now I just say "hello".

Its hard for me when I visit, but my Grandma lives there. She takes care of him everyday. He is not able to do the things he used to and he doesn't always remember to say "thank you". But my Grandma serves him nonetheless. She is steadfast in her commitment to love him. She is patient with him when his body won't allow him to move any faster. She thinks of him before she thinks of herself. My grandma is a strong woman of God and serves as an example for me.

After she told me how she was doing, my grandma asked me how I was doing. I told her that I have been stressed and anxious about the baby, our move to Africa, finances, etc. She then gave me a big hug and said "God knows. Don't be anxious about anything, but pray about it. He listens." (Philippians 4:6-7)

When I think of the stress in my grandma's life and the choice she has to make everyday to continue to love and serve, it humbles me and causes me to reflect on my own life. God provides the strength and patient my grandma needs to get her through each day. She takes comfort in the fact that He hears her and knows her pain. And its in these little reminders that I can find peace in my stressful life. God is big enough to handle my stuff.



Psalm 62:5-8

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

4 comments:

Aimee Jo said...

I'm so sorry that you are having to watch Grandpa go through this traumatic time in his life. I know it is hard for you.
I love you and I thank you for being by rock when I am feeling the stress and pressures of life.

Kori said...

Andrew,
It is interesting that my most recent post was along similar lines...aging loved ones anyway. We have and are experiencing similar struggles in our family as well. You all will be in our prayers.

Mike Lewis said...

Your post here makes me shed a tear. Your grandmother seems like a strong woman of faith. I love you guys and hope and pray for things to fall into place for you.

emilykaypeters said...

It is hard to remember that we are constantly servants to others when times are good. But God is good and knows the things that we do for others and the reward is waiting in heaven. I have a hard time with this also, seeing as my mom does this for her parents.

God will take care of you guys and we love you three.